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Thursday, April 5th, 2007

Subject:alive. and well.
Time:1:41 pm.
Hi. Here is an update.


For the first time in my life i am happy.


Well, not completely, but i'm almost there.

One chapter closed, another one opened.

My heart is starting to thaw, hopefully those pins will start to fall out soon...


Finding almost love so soon after a breakup....is a scary thing. Buttt....

"i read that with every broken heart
we should become more more adventurous..."


Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

Subject:hahaha
Time:12:22 am.
Today was really tiring.
I got out of bed because I had to throw up. I'm really sick. I mean REALLY sick.

I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.

I'm so sad. My kitten got run over this afternoon. I found him when I was coming home from school. His head was all squished. I took some photos. I'll miss him. Poor kitty.

Last night I had to go and pay Joshua's bail. He's such a jerk. He got arrested for punching the Walmart clerk in the face for refusing to sell him beer. He's only 16!

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

I am making this journal friends only because I don't want the world to read what I'm writing, even though I'm posting it on the internet.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my cock.

I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.

Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
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Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, February 13th, 2007

Subject:i'm still alive...
Time:12:22 am.
Mood: blank.
SOMEtimes...


compliments from strangers are the best kind.



Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006

Subject:CONDOMS!
Time:12:32 pm.
[disregard this if you've already seen this on my bulletins on myspace k, thx <3]

Hey guys....



I need your help. I'm doing a project on Trojan condom advertisements, and i'd really appreciate it if you could help me out with your input....your voices will help me pass! lol anyways, if you could just answer a few simple questions for me, it'd really help me out...so here they are:

"What do you think of when you see a Trojan ad (whether it's TV or in print like a magazine)?"

"Do you think Trojan ads are geared towards more toward men? Women? Heterosexual couples? Homosexual couples?"

"If you're sexually active, do you use Trojan condoms (and Why)? If you're not, what do you think of when you see a trojan ad?"


email me: LSdmLuvr@aol.com
myspace me: www.myspace.com/lilellice

And don't worry, your names won't be used...I'm the only one who's gonna see the responses, I promise. =)

Thanks a bunch, guys <3


xoxo

Ellice.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006

Subject:i'm alive...
Time:2:03 am.
okay so i havent updated in a million years. but...basically, theres just a couple things i need to say:

1)boys, appreciate your girlfriends. do more than what you think is enough...it pays off. Girls, always be smarter and never fall for what's on the surface...
and
2)Jonathan and I are broken up.


Thats all that really matters to me right now.


Sigh.


xo.E.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

Subject:happy bday ed claproth <3
Time:4:13 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
:: Honestly, where are you now?
at the computer in the family room.

:: Honestly, have you ever failed a subject in high school?
nope. worst i got was like....a D on a progress report. In Chemistry and Algebra II. haha.

:: Honestly, what's on your mind?
1)my ovaries are killing me, i have major cramps. 2) i have to finish shopping, but 3)im going to disneyland tomoro (hopefully), and 4) i really dont wanna fucking close tonite.

:: Honestly, what is it that you really should be doing right now?
Shopping, or taking a shower before its too late.

:: Honestly, have you brushed your teeth today?
yup. all you suckas is nasty.....yeah its vacation, but i still brush my teeth when i get up....even if thats at 2pm. haha.

:: Honestly, who are your best friends in the world?
my true best friends that i get to talk to almost everyday? My boyfriend, Maria and Joel. The others who have always been around...The Sluts, Aytona, Nadine and my Miguel

:: Honestly, are you a good friend?
I try to be. I'm bad at keeping in touch. But once we talk it feels like old times again. And it doesnt matter how long we havent talked, I'll still be there for them. In terms of actions with those that im actively friends with....i think im a pretty good fucking friend.

:: Honestly, do you really think going to school is important?
Yeah, but its a fucking bitch half the time. I dont think grad school is all that heavy, but get a BA at least

::Honestly, what are your dreams mostly about?
For a while there i was having all these dreams with the Devil or Devil-like characters in them. that was scary. now i just sex dreams or really really random realistic dreams with my friends in them.

:: Honestly, who/what makes you happy most of the time?
In no particular order: spending time with Maria, working when theres nothin to do or when theres really great customers to talk to, spending time with people i dont usually get to hang out with, when my neice and nephew are silly and affectionate with me, the good times with Jonathan, a good cigarette, drinking with friends,sex, weed, and rock n roll =]

:: Honestly, what are you sad about right now?
i'm sad that i have major cramps and that i have to work in 3 hours.

:: Honestly, what song are you listening to?
One of the KROQ Devotees 80s mix albums. More specifically.... Sting is Sending Out an S.O.S haha.

:: Honestly, who do you want to meet/see at this very moment?
Jonathan cuz i miss him and I want sex. hahah. well, im being Honest. And i wanna meet Diego Luna. <333

:: Honestly, do you have a deadly disease?
I dont think so. I sure hope not. Maybe i should go get checked. haha.

:: Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
Not quite Hate, but i sure as fuck cant stand a lot of girls.

:: Honestly, who do you want to hug right now?
My bebies Jonathan. And his dog too.

:: Honestly, are you bored?
Honestly i'm just fucking waiting for these cramps to calm down so i can stand up...just to lay down again.

:: Honestly, who do you wanna slap right now ?
Those girls i dont hate but i cant stand.

:: Honestly, do you like/love someone right now?
i love my beby. and i like several people.

:: Honestly, have you told him/her how you feel?
Chh, DUH!

::Honestly, are you happy this is over?
a lil cuz now i get to go lay down :)


♥e.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:3:43 pm.
I'm still alive! That's a good thing right? =p




Maybe i'll update one of these days...since it seems like thats the craze now that school's out.


Love you kids. Miss you too.




♥elle.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005

Subject:happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeee
Time:10:34 am.
Mood: calm.
its my bday today and im feelin fiiiiiiiiine........






xoxo.elle.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, October 6th, 2005

Subject:this is p-p-p-perfect!
Time:9:38 am.
Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by crispnite
LJ Username
Favorite animal
You invite over...
They bring...
You talk about...
You end up...with a scar on your stomach from where they stole your spleen!!!
Quiz created with MemeGen!



oh goodness that is so me! i would not mind at all!


PS. today is one year and 8 months. go us ♥


♥mE.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, September 18th, 2005

Subject:i have one thing to say....
Time:4:43 pm.
I GOT MY LICENSE BACK!



After a long fucking year, i am driving again.




Yaaaaaay-yuuuuuuhhhhhh


This means trouble kids hahaha ......




♥mE.
Comments: Read 9 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005

Subject:You Boys...
Time:11:12 pm.
Mood: full.
i know many of us have seen this....but sometimes guys need to be reminded of this stuff cuz honestly it makes a difference to most of us girls....

....it works people! Guys, remember: We're girls. We're like a whole different species. Treat us like girls once in a while, if not ALL the while...Be romantic, be thoughtful....

...JUST READ and APPLY!

♥mE.


26 ways to make a girl smile . . . . .


1] . Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy)
2] Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
3] Kiss her on the forehead.
4] Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5] Always tell her you love her every second of the day.
6] When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
7] Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
8] Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
9] Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
10] Write her notes. (she loves them)
11] Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.
12] Play with her hair.
13] Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.
14] Sit in the park and just talk to her.
15] Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.
16] Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night . . . just because you missed her.
17] Let her fall asleep in your arms.
18] Carve your names into a tree.
19] If she's mad at you, kiss her.
20] Give her piggyback rides.
21] Bring her flowers just because.
22] Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
23] Look her in the eyes and smile.
24] Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
25] Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
26] Kiss her in the rain.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, August 1st, 2005

Subject:So it's been a hot minute....
Time:8:48 pm.
Mood: blah.
I haven't updated in this for eons, i figured its about time. I get too lazy to update, though i always want to. Then again i get tired of dumping my madness into this outlet.....Anyway, here's a few pictures of stuff i've been up to lately.

Actually, one of the biggest "new" things that happened recently was that my sister Eminet got married....when i get pictures of that stuff i'll upload 'em here....anyway here's a couple other ones:


*I went to the Getty museum for the first time with my friend Joel and a few of our other friends....really beautiful place, and great art:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
and here's me and my buddy Joel in the tram....im covered in sunlight, and i love it :)
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

*I got my second tattoo on Saturday. Jon and i went to Pasadena *where i got my first one*, and i got mine, and he got his first. I'm really happy for him. He's been wanting one for a long time now, and he finally designed what he wanted and it's a tribal version of the Gemini logo (the Roman numeral two)...his is pretty sweet but i dont have a pic of it at the moment...Here's mine though:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
and this is the poem it's from:


Voodoo Girl
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com



****

I'm sure that poem applies to a lot of women...even guys...but that last verse certainly applies to me.

Love hurts. No matter how great it is, it still hurts.


And Soave, i can thank YOU for introducing me to the book. hehehe....even tho u'll prolly call me a sell out. lol i still love you.

****

Oh yeah, and in relationship news: Jon and i will be "celebrating" our Year and a half anniversary on Aug. 7th. Go us, right?


~miss all you kids, hope your summer's been swell~

♥mE.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, July 11th, 2005

Subject:People!
Time:8:12 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
i hate hate HATE....when you call someone a "friend" and they go and treat people they barely know ... people who've fucked them over without them knowing it...better and closer than they treat you.

People in this world are so superficial, and its like they dont even know it. At least i'm aware of it when i'm being superficial.



It's official.....in that group of friends....theres no one i can actually call a "true" friend. And that is SO disappointing.


I'll get over it.



♥mE.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:This is a pretty good one...
Time:7:14 pm.
Mood: hungry.
thirteen random things you like:
o1) when we play Reggae or Cuban music at Starbucks
o2) A blue sky with a few clouds and lots of sun
o3) when Jon's dog (jaxx) rubs his body on the carpet when we spray perfume on it
o4) playing a good game of pool, whether i win or not
o5) getting text/picture messages
o6) compliments from customers about our good work
o7) when people come up with quirky nicknames for me
o8) the hot hot heat of summer
o9) having a good stimulating conversation
1o) meeting interesting new people
11) Jagermeister & crisp Bud Lite from a keg hehe
12) knowing that someone understands me
13) i like love when my boyfriend smells the space between my neck and my shoulder cuz it smells like vanilla and coconut ♥

twelve movies:
o1) Some Like It Hot
o2) The Last Dragon
o3) Swingers
o4) The Sandlot
o5) Visionquest
o6) Trainspotting
o7) Clueless
o8) Mean Girls
o9) SuperTroopers
1o) Snatch
11) Bridget Jones Diary
12) Secretary

eleven good bands/artists:
o1) Depeche Mode
o2) The Faint
o3) Fiona Apple
o4) Mos Def
o5) Interpol
o6) Black Eyed Peas
o7) My Chemical Romance
o8) Timbaland/Magoo (i love when they collaborate)
o9) Jimi Hendrix
1o) The Beatles
11) Smashing Pumpkins

ten things about you:
o1) I can't let my nails grow for more than a week without starting to chip at them
o2) The first time i ever kissed a girl (not family) was when i was like 7 or 8 years old
o3) I love my job (Starbucks, suckas!)
o4) I worry about a lot of stuff.....stuff i prolly shouldnt even worry about
o5) I aspire to write for JANE magazine....if not JANE, then Blender
o6) I'm always at odds with myself...trying to make myself a better person all the time
o7) My beauty must-haves are black eyeliner (preferably liquid) and a flat-iron
o8) I'm seriously considering getting a boob job.
o9) If you are/were my [good]friend- and we havent talked in months- you can call me and there'll be no awkwardness
1o) I really love cheese. Maybe thats what makes me so cheesy....hehehe....get it? Cheese? =Cheesy? lol...see?

nine good friends:
o1) my Jonathan
o2) Liz
o3) Kelly
o4) Nadine
o5) Fallon
o6) Mike Manaoat
o7) Aytona
o8) Geo
o9) Ira-Joel

eight favorite food/drinks:
o1) quesadillas
o2) grilled cheese sandwiches
o3) macaroni and cheese *did i not say i love cheese? haha*
o4) STARBUCKS: Black Tea Lemonade with Almond, Iced Soy Chai Latte, Hazelnut Mocha Fraps, my own customized Frappuccinos, Soy Mistos, etc
o5) fireman's eggs...specially when Jon makes them
o6) my mom's Puerto Rican and Filipino dishes: specifically Chicken/Pork Tocino, Lengua, Empanadas, etc
o7) In n Out.....and Tommy's
o8) Taco Bell. lol

seven boys/girls you’ve kissed: (These ones were only on the lips)
o1) i have a boyfriend
o2) so i dont think
o3) it would be right
o4) to answer this question.
o5) BUT
o6) if you asked me
o7) i might tell you....which boys AND girls ive kissed. ;)

six things that annoy you:
o1) hypocrites and contradictions
o2) stupid, ignorant, close-minded people....
o3) when customers dont tip...but ESPECIALLY when they dont tip after i just busted out 10 drinks for them in like 2 minutes in DRIVE-fucking-THRU....and im doing like 10 other things at the same time
o4) my parent's personalities sometimes
o5) people who act fake and arent aware that its a bad thing
o6) when people underestimate me

five things you touch everyday:
o1) my cell phone
o2) my hair
o3) the bathroom door knob
o4) the radio in my room
o5) someone's heart....HAHAHA yeah right. okay seriously, um...i touch myself...when i think about you...i touch myself.....lol. =p

four shows you watch:
o1) Family Guy
o2) Veronica Mars
o3) Entourage
o4) Gilmore Girls

three things you wear every day:
o1) lotion/moisturizer
o2) at least one smile
o3) clothes

two celebrities you have a crush on:
o1) the lead singer from My Chemical Romance
o2) Michael Copon from One Tree Hill

one thing about yourself that you want everyone to know:
o1) if you ever tell me that Angelina Jolie has prettier lips than me, I'll kill you. =)


♥mE.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005

Subject:Erotica LA
Time:1:57 am.
Mood: tired.
Erotica LA 2005

aka. the porn convention

It was great. I went with my brother Dominic. Saw lots of porn stars both guys n gals. Nearly naked women, muscled out men, freaks, geeks, kinks. Bought lotsa shit including porn for myself as well as the boyfriend. Bought clothes and other shit too. Saw a Britney Spears exact look-a-like, Tera Patrick, and Jenna Jameson. Didnt get to meet the last two cuz their lines were way too long. But i admired them from real up close. And im sure i saw lots of other cool porn chicks whose names i dont know. Anyway, here are some pictures. Enjoy!

Warning: Contains Nudity ;)


PornCollapse )

♥mE.
Comments: Read 13 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, May 6th, 2005

Subject:Portishead, I love you. and you too, Anthony Soave ♥
Time:10:23 pm.
Mood: drunk.
All mine

All the stars may shine bright,
All the clouds may be white,
But when you smile,
Oh how I feel so good,
That I can hardly wait

To hold you,
Enfold you,
Never enough,
Render your heart to me.

All mine,
You have to be

From that cloud, number nine,
Danger starts the sharp incline,
And such sad regrets,
Oh as those starry skies,
As they swiftly fall.

Make no mistake,
You shan't escape,
Tethered and tied,
There's nowhere to hide from me.

All mine,
You have to be

So don't resist,
We shall exist
Until the day,
Until the day, I die.

All mine,
You have to be

 
Over

 I can't hold this state,
Anymore,
Understand me,
Anymore.

To tread this fantasy, openly,
What have I done.
Oh, this uncertainty,
 Is taking me over.

 I can't mould this stage,
Anymore,
Recognize me,
Anymore.

To tread this fantasy, openly,
What have I done.
Oh, this uncertainty,
 Is taking me over,
 Is taking me over.

To tread this fantasy, openly,
What have I done.
Oh, this uncertainty
 Is taking me over,
 Is taking me over,
 Is taking me over.

Oh It's all over, yeah,
Oh It's all over, yeah, oh oh oh.


Mourning air

Did I see a moment with you,
In a half lit world,
I'm frightened to believe,
But I must try
 If I stumble, if I fall,
I'm reaching out in this mourning air
.
Ohh.

Have I got the strength to ask,
Beyond the window,
I feel this fear alone,
Until we have,
Total honesty,
If I tremble or fall,
I'm reaching out in this mourning air
Ohh.

 Should I feel the moment with you,
To softly whisper,
I crave nothing else so much,
Longing to reveal,
Total honesty,
I can feel your touch,

I'm reaching out in this mourning air
Ohh.

I'm reaching out in this mourning air
Ohh.


Only you

We suffer everyday,
What is it for,
These crimes of illusion
Are fooling us all,
And now I am weary,
And I feel like I do.

It's only you,
Who can tell me apart,
And it's only you,
Who can turn my wooden heart.

The size of our fight,
It's just a dream,
We've crushed everything,
I can see, in this morning selfishly,
How we've failed,
And I feel like I do.

It's only you,
Who can tell me apart,
And it's only you,
Who can turn my wooden heart.

Now that we've chosen to take all we can,
This shade of autumn, a stale bitter end,
Years of frustration lay down side by side.

And It's only you,
Who can tell me apart,
And it's only you,
Who can turn my wooden heart.

It's only you,
Who can tell me apart,
And it's only you,
Who can turn my wooden heart
 
<3e.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, April 12th, 2005

Subject:wipe off my lip gloss
Time:1:30 am.
it is now 130am and im still up and i still havent finished my takehome essay midterm for my asian american women studies class. hmm. i love sleeping, its my favorite pastime, but for some reason when i have lots of work to do on a school nite, i just dont mind not sleeping...i mean i know i SHOULD sleep cuz its not healthy to only sleep for 3hrs or so, but when its late i dont even feel like sleeping when i know i have to be up in like 4 or 5 hours. and its especially hard to sleep when i have so many distractions *i.e. myspace, livejournal, shoe shopping, thoughts*

I love how relationships are like emotional rollercoasters...one minute wonderful the next minute shitty. but at the same time in back of it all i cant stop loving him. i may not *like* him sometimes but that by no means means that i dont love him. life is like that though....one minute its like i'm on the roof of a skyscraper, with the blue sky above me, crisp fresh air around me, sun shining down on me warming my skin...............then the next minute a gust of wind comes and blows me down down down so i fall hundreds of stories off the building and i go plummeting to my doom, only to have my heart and soul splat on the ground.......sigh. its hard being so emotional but its just so inherent in me that i cant shake it. keeping stuff inside *or trying to* wears me out. i can verbally try to stifle my feelings but im a writer so ill never stop journaling and writing out my feelings.....its all i have...the pen and paper *or in this case, livejournal* are my best friends apparently...

so yeah right now...i guess im just taking things as they come. get over the petty shit quick instead of dwelling on things. i guess i have to accept the fact that we're both stubborn and we both think we're right and that we're not going to see eye to eye a lot of the time. a lotttt of the time. and thats kinda sad but....what can u do? im just glad that i have a few distractions in my life right now that i can turn to when im feeling like shit. otherwise id definitely be dwelling on shit and i can do without that.

a friend shared a piece of advice i think is helpful to everyone no matter who they are....good life lesson, its something along the lines of: Dont' make someone feel bad for your own mistakes...Deal with your own pain by yourself
Basically...if u make a mistake or act hypocritically, dont treat others like shit when they do the same thing. feel bad for ur own mistakes and dont take it out on others bc u feel bad for urself....

idk it helps me out....

well back to my distractions ♥....hopefully ill still get my work done in a couple hours...doubtful but hey...whatevs.

ill leave u with some wonderful quotes:
"each of us tehn, is a matching half of a human whole, because each was sliced like a flatfish, two out of one, and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him"-Plato
"In the end one loves one's desire and not what is desired"- Nietzsche
"Love is a kind of war, and no assignment for cowards"- Ovid
"Romantic love is a scarcity mechanism. Its only function is to transmute that which is beautiful into that which is in short supply."- Philip Slater


xoxo.e.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 6th, 2005

Subject:a picture update of us ♥
Time:3:38 pm.
Mood: loved.
I swear i'm not this cocky. I get it from him. ;)
Cause we're so beautiful together and you know you like looking at usCollapse )

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
HAPPY 14 MONTH ANNY BEEBOO, I LOVE YOUUUUU!


xoxo.e.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

Subject:my nose is stuffy
Time:7:59 pm.
Mood: starving.
Ummm, I feel weird.

I'm happy, but i'm not. Work has been good lately, but draining as well. I'm happy with the friends I have...but at the same time, i have this...strange feeling about them. Theres so much that goes along with this, i really dont know quite what to say. Let's just roll with it...

There are 2 things that i feel concerning the people i'm currently "friends" with: Well first of all, most of the people i consider friends are the ones Jon and i party with on the weekends. It's a whole huge group. Now theres a certain few in there whom i consider "good" or "close" friends, because we've shared secrets, trust, drama...They know some of my shit and i know some of theirs. But when i think about it, how close of friends are we really? I'm not anyones best friend anymore, and i think i'm okay with that. And some of the people i'm "close" to have such weird definitions of friendship. One girl calls everyone her best friends if they're even slightly close. I dont know....i think a lot of the way she acts stems from her age...partly. But thats just what i think. Anyway my point is, I dont really know whom i can actually call good friends out of that huge group of people. They're the people i'm with all the time, but its not like i feel any strong emotional bond to any of them anymore. I guess that kind of stuff just happens over time, but i just dont want to feel like i just have all these "surface" friends...friends who are just friends with me on the surface of my personality...no one who goes beneath the surface, and stays there with me.

Also, all these people...I was already friends with most if not all of them before Jon and i started dating. But since these are all people he partied with/hung out with in high school, i've become "closer" to them because we're all always together. Which makes me wonder...what if jon and i break up? Maybe i would still be able to party with or hang out with these people, but it'd be so different. I dont know....i guess i shouldnt even be thinking about this stuff cuz theres no point in doing that...but its just stuff i wonder about. I mean...i do have my own friends outside of Jon, but most of them that i actually talk to now are the ones from CSUF whom i dont see outside of school. It's just hard because Jon and i are always together so now we have a lot of the same friends whom we party with....so we're always gonna be connected. I dunno. I think i should stop talking about this....i dont wanna think about the possibility of us not being together anymore....

****

I really miss driving. I think that once i start driving again, things might be a lil better, friends-wise. That way i can take it upon myself to go out and see people and hang out with whomever on my own. Maybe i'm too co-dependent on Jon? I dunno if thats the right word. It's not that i'm dependent on him, but that i hate not being with him. I hate when he's not around. This cursed love which keeps me thinking about him all day long...It's nice but i dont think its healthy. I'm sure he doesnt think about me as much as i think about him. In fact, i'm positive. Maybe it's a guy thing...theyre so simple and easily pre-occupied with everything else in life...especially him...he's busy with so much else in life that he wouldnt think about me so much....Me on the other hand, i'm not nearly as busy. But once again, maybe when i start driving i can make myself busier.

I dunno....what can i say...I just love the boy, I cant get enough of him. Well...sometimes. ;) He irritates me to death sometimes but when he cracks that smile i cant help but swoon.

Fuck. I need [more of]a life.



xoxo.e.
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Friday, April 1st, 2005

Subject:teehee
Time:7:04 pm.
Mood: devious.
Quiz results you don't want your mommy to see ;)Collapse )

xoxo.e.
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